Saturday, December 8, 2012

The Storm Still Rages

   I haven't posted in several days and have been asked for an update. As the subject line says, the storm still rages. My husband is still in the hospital. He's been in a week now. Not sure when he'll get out. He thinks tomorrow, but I suspect that's wishful thinking...
    For those who are new to my blog, my husband Greg had a kidney transplant May 3, 2011. There have been a handful of complications since then, most of which are fairly recent. He was on dialysis for about 5 years till a cadaver donor came available. The kidney of a young man who died from a gunshot to the head now lives in him. We have a little boy named Evan who is the light of my life and the greatest worldly blessing of my life. Firstly Evan is sweet and wonderful and fun and bright and secondly he just happens to be autistic. God certainly knew what He was doing when He gave me my little angel. Everyone in the family is disabled to one degree or the other. My husband also has vision complications -a retinal vein occlusion (basically blood supply blocked off due to uncontrolled high blood pressure around the time of his heart attack in 2005 just prior to his renal failure that caused him to go on dialysis in 2006.
    Fast forward to last week. It started out as blood in the urine: a urinary tract infection which turned into a blood infection which we just found out two days ago was caused by a kidney stone lodged in his ureter in between his old kidney and the new one. Two stents were placed and he was told he could come home for 10 days while the swelling goes down and then he'll go back in to have the stone removed. That was supposed to have been yesterday.
    Every day for a week I bundled up my 9-year old autistic son and we visited daddy. Today, however, we couldn't. Daddy called and said the medical staff fears now he may have C-diff. So I had to keep Evan and myself home while daddy stays in the hospital still and awaits test results whether he has C-diff or not. The symptoms are there...really bad diarrhea. It's very contagious. A minor meltdown ensued...then put my chin up to be strong...always have to be the strong one for my family...
    Dinner for my son and I has been stopping at Taco Bell and Wendy's mostly, on the way to the hospital. The only visitor my husband has had is our pastor who has been there 3 times (thank you, Pastor!) and my non-Christian friend Debbie...and that frustrates me a little (until today when the fear of C-diff came up and I totally don't want anybody to visit till we know!)...I long for godly men to reach out to him and minister to him. I'm probably being over-sensitive...
    The bank is calling hounding me as we are behind on our mortgage. Anti-rejection medication for a kidney transplant recipient is extremely expensive. Yes, we have insurance, but there's a 20% co-pay insurance doesn't cover and even that is really expensive. (Making crafts at home and selling online has been my effort at supplementing that, but that's not happening very well...). He is also a fragile diabetic now (a complication from anti-rejection medication which makes his blood sugar soar sky high and he has to take two different types of insulin. Needles, glucose strips, lancets...all the usual testing supplies. Our bathroom looks like a pharmacy.
    The holidays. Already tough as my brother was senselessly killed in an industrial accident at work last year and that's a day-to-day struggle to make sense out of. Legal issues still in process...awaiting closure day by day. Wanting the company to be put in a position to never let this happen to another person ever ever again... Nightmares of my brother's status in eternity...
    When the bank started calling and at the hospital Greg told me they had sent a letter before Thanksgiving with an amount that's much more than our monthly income, I came home and after a good hard cry, I began gathering paperwork and scanning and printing copy after copy after copy. Then went to Save the Dream and entered all the info and printed out the forms in hope of the program saving our home...printed it all out, signed on the many dotted lines, took it to the hospital for my husband to sign HIS name on the dotted lines and got it in the mail. Now just pray...
    Very stressed....
    Did everything I can in my power to solve the problems at hand and the rest is up to the Lord. I'm at the point where I'm stressed and worried and have no room left to move, so I just stand...and trust that God will move...
    I try to be very transparent online as I've seen the Lord work wonders for my little family. The more transparent I am with the struggles my little family encounters, the more I can share how God has provided and interceded for us time and again and the more glory I can shine on Him.
    So for now...I sit. I sit and wait in hospital rooms, in waiting rooms, at home by the phone, in my car awaiting my little guy to come home from school and go to the hospital with me, I sit in prayer seeking help from Above. I sit and post former posts to linky parties trying to stay current and grow my blog as I'm in limbo...but mostly... I stand.
  I stand and watch and pray for God to move. And ask you for your prayers for my little family... Thank you all...

 Still in His grip,
Helen

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